because we are not promised tomorrow

So, today I was browsing through my photos stored on photobucket.com when I came across this one. This is me and Cam on his first day of kindergarten...over half his life ago. It made me realize how quickly the past 5 years have passed and how my little boy has grown into a young man. I was reminded of how during this time of his life, he wanted to marry me and live with me forever. Gone are the days where he says such things, but I know that he still wants me to be a big part of his life. He still wants to spend time with me, to be the center of my attention. I know that all too soon those days are going to be gone and that I must soak them up now. So this week and moving forward, I am making a commitment to my big guy (and all of my children) to enjoy the little moments, to put aside what I have going on to give of myself. I don't know entirely what that looks like yet. I want it to be special and memorable for them. I do know that today, they are asking. Tomorrow, they won't be.

sunny saturday run

Ran 3.36 miles in 36 minutes today. I really can't believe that I am consistently running over 3 miles each time I run now. I also can not believe how well it is going, that I am still enjoying it. I almost feel guilty for enjoying it so much. Today was not as difficult as I had imagined it would be. I totally psyched myself out thinking it was going to be hard to run on different terrain, but I welcomed the change of scenery. It helped that it was a beautiful sunny morning. It was over 50 degrees and very windy, but the wind was at my back nearly the entire run! Two more weeks until race time!

rainy run

I just realized I didn't post about my Tuesday run, but it was pretty uneventful. It was a dark "warm" morning (43 degrees, as opposed to the around freezing temps I'm used to.) I struggled a little, but felt great once the run was over. Today, I was ready to go! It was hard for me to get out of bed because I went to bed too late and stuffed myself full of Ted's, but I wasn't about to miss. It was a windy rainy dark morning. The wind and rain stung my face when I had to run directly into it, but when it was at my back, I felt warm and toasty! I'm a little sore now, as I pushed myself to run longer than usual and ended up going a whopping 3.71 miles! That's my farthest distance to date! I would like to try 4 on Saturday...think I'll just see how I feel after 3. I'm so ready for this 5k thing! BRING IT ON!

a reoccuring theme

I feel as if I have addressed this issue before...perhaps I have even blogged about it here. I did not have the luxury of time to go back and read to see. Nevertheless, it is fresh in my mind again, and I feel the need to get it out.

We are in this world...we are not of this world. That is one of our family values. Never before have I had to address it so deeply with one of my children, however. You see, I have one struggling to fit in....struggling to be liked by his peers. I see him teetering dangerously on the edge of giving in to the pressure that goes with the desire to be accepted. He is not naturally a leader, and we have to fight hard to build him up to believe in himself. He is his own worst enemy. Sadly, he takes after his mother. That makes it doubly hard for me to be the one to teach him this lesson. I only know now as an adult how wonderful it is to be different from everyone else. I embrace it...because I know that being different from the world means that I am more like the One. I also know that it isn't all sugary sweet. It is hard. Sometimes very hard. This morning at breakfast, my sweet kid was ridiculing his brother and sister. That led them, in turn, to do the same to him. I was quick to point out how much "power" he had over them. Him: "I learned it at school." Me: "So?" Him: "Well, my friends didn't get in trouble for doing it." Me: "Either they didn't get caught or your teacher does not value respect among her students. My guess is that it's the former." Him: puzzled look. Me: "The point is that it is not acceptable in our family. It is, therefore, not acceptable anywhere else...even if you do not get in trouble for it. Doing a wrong thing because someone else does still makes it wrong. It also makes you just like them. Who wants to be like everyone else? If everyone were the same, life would be boring. No one would be special." Him: "Ummm. Okay." Me: Sigh. I feel like I am doing and saying all the right things. My desire is for him to learn what I had to learn on my own, without any righteous guidance. I will continue my battle. I.will.be.different.no.matter.what.

the worst one yet

So, here we are at the first day of spring. Considering all the beautiful weather we have been having, one would think we would be starting off with one of those 65-70 degree days. But no...it rained all night and has snowed all day. I walked out into the snow at 9:30am to several inches of the white stuff. It would have been beautiful if the falling snow wasn't whipping right into my face, thanks to the 20mph winds. So, that's how I started off my 35 minute run this morning. I started out running, mostly because I wanted to warm my body quickly. And I just kept running...the whole 35 minutes. To say that it felt great would be a lie. It hurt. Raising my legs up out of the snow during my stride was more work than the sand/gravel I had to endure at my parent's house a few weeks back. I ended up running 3.28 miles in just under 33 minutes for a 9:55 minute mile average. I was shocked, but happy that my misery was rewarded with that. During the last 15 minutes of my run, I was in constant prayer. I prayed mostly that I would just make it through the rest of my workout...run OR walk. But I also prayed for the Lord to release me from my own pride, especially if that was what was driving me to be out on such a frigid morning. My time with God seemed to make the time go faster, and I ended my run exhausted but peaceful. I laugh now because I no longer have an excuse not to get out of bed to run in the morning. Perhaps I should have just skipped this one. ;)

run update

So, the Saturday workout wasn't as bad as I built it up in my mind to be. I wasn't terribly impressed with my final results, but I ran a continuous 20 minutes without stopping! With my walking, I went a total of 3.52 miles and had a time of 14'11" per mile. There were steeper uphill climbs than I am used to...I joined the Running Buddies group in town instead of making my usual trek through the neighborhood. It was nice to experience some new scenery.

It was hard to get out of bed for this morning's run. I had a sweet snuggly five month old baby laying next to me, and she totally wanted me to stay with her. I know...she told me. ;) But I obediently put her back in her bed, where she smiled big as day at me, and then went back to sleep. So, it's dark again for our early run. :( I was getting very used to being able to see everything around me. It's a good thing I have running partners...I'm totally afraid of the dark! Today, we warmed up for a brisk 5 minute walk, ran 5 minutes, walked 3 minutes, ran 8 minutes, walked 3 minutes, ran 5 minutes, and cooled down for 5 minutes. With all that walking, you'd think we would have had a slower mile time, but we were at 13'09". It was awesome! I was stiff in the beginning, but loosened up and felt great for the last half. I came home and forced myself to do some sit-ups. My ab muscles are so weak from the C-section still. :(

a new love affair

Okay, so I haven't gotten much better at blogging. It's been nearly two months. The time really does fly! Perhaps now that I have a new computer it will get easier?? Who knows...with 6 kids, spare time is sparse. ;)

So I'm here today to tell you about my new love affair. Yes, that's right. A love affair. I might be addicted to running, and it's only been two weeks! I haven't confessed this to too many people, but I hated running. No big deal, many great and advanced runners hate running. No shocker. But I really, really, truly LOATHED it. I avoided it at all costs. I tried only to do it in emergency situations. You know the ones where your kid is running away from you in a packed parking lot and you catch her just before she crosses paths with an oncoming car? I have truly viewed running as some sort of punishment and that anyone who chose to do it for "fun" must really didn't like themselves that much. I tried in college to make myself love it, but I injured my knee...yes, running...and I never did it again. At least not until one of those aforementioned emergency situations. So a couple of months ago, I started walking with some neighborhood girlfriends. Mostly, I just loved the company and the time away, even if it was at ungodly hours of the morning and in the freezing cold of winter. We would chat about how we could never run like the other group that was out at the same time as us, and how we had no real desire to do so. But then it came up...what if? Surprisingly, it was me who brought it up. What if we started running? That was it...that week, we started running. Since we seemed to be in the same place fitness wise, we started the couch to 5k. We are finishing up week 5 on Saturday. Here's the real issue though...I LOVE IT! I look forward to it. I am no longer trying to make up excuses as to why I can't get up and go. I can't say I don't dread a new workout, like the 20 minute constant run we are doing on Saturday...but I am enjoying pushing myself...and relishing in my success once I have achieved my goal. I never knew before why it was I hated running so much. I do now...it has been my asthma. I have never been able to get my breathing under control enough to push myself through the pain. That just makes the pain worse. It is only by the Lord's hand that I now have a handle on my breathing. Running feels good...even when I am not doing it. I can feel the effects all day long! I have never felt so healthy even though I am far from my time, distance, or weight loss goals! God is so good!