the art of discipline

WARNING:  This is a long, possibly scatter-brained post.  But worth the read.

I just finished reading the book Have a New Kid by Friday by Kevin Leman.  I bought it months ago on a bargain rack at Sam's.  From there, it sat on my desk and/or nightstand...begging to be read...but anyone who knows anything about mi vida loca knows that I do not have time for reading, no matter how practical it might be.  Eventually, the book made its way to the bookcase, where I would forget about it until late last week.  I remember someone somewhere mentioning it was a worthwhile read.  I remember thinking I have that book.  I think I even started reading it once.  What happened to it?  I wasn't inspired to go home and begin reading it.  I was knee deep in my four college classes at the time, and just couldn't push myself to read one more thing.  So, back to the moment it caught my eye.  I was sitting at the dining room table playing a card game with my two sons, who were bickering about who was cheating and who wasn't.  I must have zoned out because I was concentrating on the book titles on the shelf across the room.  That one stuck out because of what was happening at the table.  The lack of respect my boys had for one another was killing me.  Then I began thinking of all the other issues that we have been having lately...tantrum throwing, defiance, disprespect, yadda, yadda, yadda.  I'm sure this list is familiar to most moms.  The plain and ugly truth is that as great as my kids are, somewhere along the way, we had lost control.  The inmates had begun to run the asylum.  We had to do something, and fast!  Now, before I go any further, I want you all to know that I wasn't looking for a quick fix.  I was simply floundering and needed some sound advice.  I briefly mentioned it to Chris.  Hey honey, remember that book we picked up at Sam's last summer?  The one I promised I would read if we got it and never did?  Well, I'm reading it now.  He said something like, Good, but I can't remember exactly what word he used.  I was skeptical when I began reading...honestly, how on earth could you have a new kid in only five measly days?  Still, I decided to continue reading simply because it's summer...and I CAN!  Yeah!  As I read through the days, I began to put into practice some of the principles I was reading as a test to see if they really work.  I started with changing my own attitude. The nerve that man Leman has to say that you can't expect your own child's attitude to change if you don't have your own under control!  Who does he think he is, an expert or something!? Sheesh.  Well, I admit...I was wrong.  The mere change in my attitude was a miracle worker.  But I knew I had to complete the mission if I was to squash the uprising that had begun against me.  So yesterday, I finished the book...and here's the kicker...SO HAD CHRIS!  He had downloaded the audio version while he had been away on his trip this week and finished it yesterday as well!  God is so funny.  So today, we knew without saying that we were going to fling our new selves onto the kids.  And that, we did.  I think it's safe to say that they have spent the better part of the day in stun mode because I haven't seen the look of disbelief leave their faces yet.  It's 9:00 on a Saturday night in the summer, and ALL my children are in bed.  I haven't raised my voice once, gotten stressed out, cursed, or flashed an attitude at the kids.  Our day went a little something like this...

We all slept later than usual...about 8:30am.  I just knew it was going to be a great day!  We had a casual morning with the kids and by 1:45, we were packed up to head to the pool.  Well, the five older kids and myself were heading to the pool anyway.  We were the only swimmers there the entire time, and the first 30 minutes or so was great.  Then the uglies started.  I'll just call them that...stay with me.  Bickering, splashing in the face, dunking, depantsing (I kid you not), taking toys, disobeying, disprespecting.  Dear Lord, why are you throwing ALL the tests at me at once?  I kept my cool.  But by 3, I had had enough and began to pack up, giving the kids warning as I did so...5 more minutes...2 more minutes.  It's time to go now.  Not ONE of those five kids obeyed.  Don't panic, I thought.  You can do this.  Pick them off one by one.  Resistance and deliberate disobedience ensued, however, I had them all in the car 15 minutes later.  Yes, 15 minutes later.  I know...by this point, I was thinking I pretty much sucked at this.  I drove them home in silence, but somehow they knew.  They knew that something was different.  We got home and began readying ourselves for church.  I did not leave my bathroom until it was nearly time to leave the house.  But one by one, each child came to ask me for something.  One by one, I told them no, and then turned away and continued to put my makeup on or do my hair.  Each one pursued me, asking why.  Remember the disprespect you showed me at the pool a while ago?  That is why you can not play on the computer/watch Nick Jr/go outside to play with the neighbor/have a treat.  Again, I turned to finish getting ready for church.  I feel guilty for saying this, but each time, I giggled when they would walk away with a look of confusion on their faces.

So, that brings me to the 9:00 bedtime.  Bri and Bayleigh always go to bed by 8...earlier if we can make it happen, but since we went to church and had dinner afterward, it was harder.  Carleigh and Bella's bedtime is 8-8:30 except when we are doing something special.  Cameron and Caleb's typical bedtime is 9:00, but we are lax with it during the summer unless we have to get up early for something.  Tonight, after church, the boys were disrespectful again.  They were shocked when we told them they had to observe their usual bedtime.  Shocked even more when I enforced it.

Today was tough.  The behavior and attitudes were exceptionally bad (except for mine, of course!)  But I have never felt so good about being a mom.  And I have never heard so many I love you's from my children as I have heard today!

Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.  Proverbs 22:6