the sad truth?

Wait for this revelation.....


I am not perfect.

Whoa.  Are you as shocked as me?  {insert sarcasm here}

I have made many, many, many, many mistakes. Some are huge. Some are miniscule. Then there is everything in between. I have done things, said things, thought things that would make one's skin crawl. For many years, I have been the first one in line casting rocks at myself for the mistakes I have made...mistakes that I will someday have to explain to my precious, innocent children.  I expect that they will be confused and even disappointed.  I actuallly spend very little time anticipating how they are going to react, although this has been a burden I have carried before.  It wasn't until I took advice from a wise woman who speaks truth and life into my journey through motherhood that I began looking at the situation differently.  It does not matter what my children, or anyone else who is self-righteous enough to condemn me, think of me.  I was put on this earth to be the mother of the six children I was blessed with.  And yes, (hang on to your panties ladies) I said BLESSED.  Having these six beautiful souls in my life is a blessing of epic proportion.  And...God chose ME to be their mother...warts and all.  This was quite a sobering reality for me.  I had so much energy pent up in what my children would think of me once they knew "the truth".  But it was all wasted time?  What?  When it comes right down to it, the opinion of my children, my  husband, my friends, my family, my "enemies"...they do not matter in the end.  It is not my good or bad deeds that will determine my fate in the hereafter.  It is my heart and whether or not it is repentant.  It is my relationship with the Lord.  I rest in knowing that I believe in a big God.  A God who has covered my sins with the blood of His only Son.  A God who knows my heart.  A God who finds me worthy, even when others do not.

I am not perfect.  Praise Jesus, I am not perfect.  For if I was, why would I need Him?

I love the Lord.  I love my dear sweet husband.  I love ALL SIX of my wonderful little people.  Unconditionally.  Unapologetically.  Period.